Bowel School

The idea of being invited to attend Bowel School seemed strange at first but, always wanting to support any offers that would aid my recovery, I accepted. I remembered   a sporting representation of the letters PPPPP, which translates to ‘Proper Preparation Prevents Poor Performance’. I did not want to be a poor performer.

My dear wife was going to accompany me to this class. I thought I would play a joke and pretending I was a little boy. I came into the room with my hands cupped holding a number of mini Mars Bars and said “look at what I made in Bowel School today Mummy.” You can now arrange the following disparaging words in any order. “Grow up!”  “Disgusting!”  “Have you nothing better to think about?”  “Is that necessary?”

There were a number of other patients present at the class with their respective partners. The session was led by the ward sister who had also invited a number of nurses. These professionals would guide us through a number of topics, which were to be considered in light of the forth-coming procedures.

The dietician offered many interesting aspects of nutrition and provided suggestions for meals and ways to adjust our present diet. My wife being very experienced in this area made a good contribution by way of questions, the answers were, I think, useful to everybody there. When we were given the opportunity to taste one of the high calorie energy drinks many of the partners seemed reluctant and sampled with a small sip. I do admit that, nice as it was, it wouldn’t become a best seller in the supermarkets.

Nurses from the physiotherapy department guided us through our recovery program.

Apparently deep breathing exercises can prevent lung infections when you are restricted in your movements. We all joined in, trying out the different methods of breathing. “Deep breath” was the command and as we all drew in and sucked most of the air from the room I am sure the curtains on the window moved away from the windows, though perhaps it could have been a slight breeze as it was a pleasant day outside… We then practiced a few stretching movements, followed by some recommended leg movements and as we performed this sitting down it looked like an armchair version of Riverdance! These exercises were to be performed at regular intervals along with the deep breathing when we were in the ward post op.

Any one expecting a few days in bed may have been shocked to hear that this is no longer the case. It is thought to be medically beneficial to be active the day after surgery even if that activity is simply by getting out of bed and into a chair – mmm at this rate I think I will be back on my bike by June!

Accompanied by one of the nurses we were taken on a tour of the ward. The design of the hospital is such that the wards are grouped around a hexagonal, which is an administrative area. This means you can start to walk from the entrance of your ward, around the hexagon and then find yourself back where you started  – the entrance to your own ward! It may not seem inspiring to visit a hospital ward but I thought it was. The sight of men and women in their hospital attire walking around the ward, gradually building the number of laps day by day and getting fitter and fitter was encouraging. Feeling sporty I wondered whether there was a lap record I could attempt to claim after my surgery?

Tractor Man

GBNHS