Preparation – the start of things to come.
I was hoping that someone would ask if I had been in this hospital before and I would answer “Yes” with any luck they then would ask “when?” and I would reply “1954!” It was 2015. It’s a joke I had rehearsed for a while but no-one asked…!
Well this is it! Meeting the Anaesthetist! The questions are important but not taxing and there was a chance to ask some of your own. I don’t think I asked any questions. It was all clear what was to happen, I signed the forms; then…the parting words from the Anaesthetist. “I look forward to seeing you later.” As one Anaesthetist pointed out “ when people ask what I do for a living I often say, I spend my day putting people to sleep and then waking them up”…
The next activity was the visit of the Colorectal Nurse who was to site the position of the ileoscopy bag. With my shirt open she asked me to bend and twist into many of the normal positions we encounter in the general run of life. The reason being was to mark a point on my body that would avoid any natural body folds where the small bowel would soon exit my body in order to connect with the ileoscopy bag. I would like to think she needed to consider where the six-pack was! Thankfully she selected the appropriate position and there were very few rolling layers for her to contend with. The small bowel would protrude only a little and only for a short time. (Well, a few months as it actually turned out!!)
Once allocated a bed in one of the small wards, I changed into the “gown” and also into a very tight fitting pair of green socks. Covering the entire length of my lower legs it transformed that part of my body to look like one of Robin Hood’s Merry Men! I had barely finished changing when the porter arrived with a trolley/bed to transport me to the operating theatre. I usually like going to the theatre to see a show, this time however I had a part to play admittedly it’s a non-speaking part, but I am central to the plot.
On arrival in the preparation room the Anaesthetist and several other nurses greeted me. I went through several questions to confirm who I was and whether I understood what was about to happen, I remember this being a pleasant time chatting with the medical staff. I am not sure who brought up the subject but we all seemed to join in on the subject of cycling. A cannula was fitted in my hand (a devise to enable drugs and solutions to be delivered to my body when needed.) and I was asked to sit on the side of the trolley. The gown was loosened at the back and I was told to expect a cold sensation. Oooh! I took a sharp intake of breath as some form of spray landed on my back. Oooh! it did feel cold but only for a few seconds. An epidural was then administered. From what I can understand this is an injection to provide pain management but at the time I thought it was a small tube of some kind. When told to lie back on the bed I inquired if it was safe to do so just in case I crushed the tube or whatever. Smiling they told me there was nothing there I had simply had the sensation of what had happened.
Whilst I had been in the sitting position I faced what looked like some form of ‘hostess’ trolley but instead of lunch it contained a number of medical appliances. I noticed there was one gauge that had the word Oxygen upon it – the needle being in the red zone and the word ‘empty’ adjacent to it, Thinking of the newspaper headlines… “Patient left in Vegetated state due to lack of Oxygen”(Yes, some people would notice the difference!) I thought that I should mention it. Even bigger smiles from the staff “No, we wont be using that equipment, no need to worry!”
At some point the Consultant entered. “Nice to see you again.” My hand was injected and within seconds I was sleeping. At this point the real work began for both the Surgical Team and the Anaesthetist. I wonder if, like my mum when I was younger, they were happy when I went to sleep?
Tractor Man
GBNHS