A Windy Day in the Recovery Room
The thing about hospitals is that they really do look after you well, in fact very well. They understand how most of us will feel after a procedure and have a plan in place to aid recovery. I like to think that I take notice, follow instructions and do the best to support whatever they are doing to aide my recovery. Apparently not everybody does.
With the filming complete and ‘in the can’ as they say, my transfer from the examination room to the recovery room was rapid but I felt like I had left a group of people behind who had become my best friends as I was so well looked after. My bed safely parked, a goodbye and thank you to the staff, then ‘hello’ to the very attentive nurse that was there to oversee my recovery. The nurse asked what type of sandwich I would like and if I would like a cup of tea “you must feel hungry after fasting”, you can see what I mean about being looked after.
I had felt the need to release gas since the examination finished. I was so embarrassed at the thought but now in recovery it was explained to me that during the procedure air was pumped inside me in order to extend the bowel thus giving a better opportunity for consultant to view and manoeuvre the camera. ‘So’ the nurse said ‘whenever you feel the need, release as much wind as you can’. This reminded me of a much-loved boys activity when camping and sharing a large eight-man tent. I felt I lacked the skills of other boys when I was around 11 years old so now was my chance to see what it was like to perform at the highest level. Lying on the bed I was unable to control the first expulsion of gas. It sounded like a long, low note on a trombone as the air escaped. What a relief! With further releases I’m sure that I impersonated the complete wind section of an orchestra.
The nurse returned with sandwiches and tea and advised me that when I felt the need to use to toilet just to go but if I needed any help getting of the bed to press the red button for assistance. Timing was of the essence however so the button was never pressed although visits were frequent. There were many occasions when I moved quickly and with purpose, though I would like to think with poise and a stately manner. Between visits to the toilet I rested on the bed, then in the chair the latter being much more an efficient launch pad to the toilet.
There is a story that Sir Christopher Cockerel, the inventor of the hovercraft, perfected his idea by the use of a vacuum cleaner set to blow and some tin cans strapped together; the experiment taking place in his garden shed. If he hadn’t already discovered the principles I think I would have done so having spent some considerable time hovering over the toilet.
Between sprints to the toilet the Consultant arrived, asked how I felt and then went on to explain that the polyp they had found was quite firm to the touch of the camera and that the results of the sample would be analysed. Apparently it was only when it reached the size of what he had described as a golf ball that it mimicked the feeling that I needed to use the toilet. Thankfully I experienced the symptoms before it became a cricket ball or a football! He said he would like me to have two scans and after making a few phone calls at the nurses station he gave me some proposed dates for the following week and said that I would have confirmation through the post within a few days.
As you have gathered I am a person with a positive outlook, but I never confuse being positive with putting my head in the sand. In other words I thought that this may be serious but didn’t despair believing that with medical science and technology this was a problem that could, and would, be solved.
Tractor Man
GBNHS